Ludacris loses dignity while Justin Beiber rocks

Ludacris is officially the Samuel L. Jackson of the R&B world.

Just as Samuel L. Jackson will be contracted for almost any movie where he can wear a funny hat (case and point: see pic below); Ludacris will likewise do anything so long as his credibility is compromised.

Case and point: Justin Bieber

Now, I’ve recently become a great fan of this munchkin (Justin was born in 1994). I find his songs addicting and have them constantly running through my head, but not without reason:

Need to rock it at the gym? Listen to Justin Bieber, “Eeenie Meenie”.

Need to wallow in the goodness that is love? J-Beeb’s your man-boy with “Baby”.

Want to cry a little after breaking up? That’s right, Justin, assuage me with “That Should Be Me” (sometimes I feel like no one understands my emotions like a 15 year old bean sprout).

But – as I am prone to tangents – BACK TO LUDA:

The lyrics in ‘Baby’, on which Ludacris is featured, go as such,

“When I was 13, I had my first love… she’d wake me up every day,

don’t need no Starbucks (woo)”

Let’s get one thing straight: This is lyrical genius.

Now that we’ve gotten that outta the way, we can move on to the fact that Ludacris is using his skills to talk about being awakened by his 13 year old girlfriend …

(Justin Bieber, infant) 

WHAT?!

I just don’t think this is something he should be spending his time on. I like him better when he talks about Escalades and the Georgia Dome in his song “What’s Your Fantasy”. Get real, this is the man who taught us to ‘shake our money makers like somebody’s gonna pay (us)”.

Subject matter aside, I think once you’ve become famous for ‘dirty rap’, you can’t go back, pretending to play a controlled, eloquent, and dreamy Edward Cullen.

It just doesn’t work that way, especially when the original beat for “Baby” is that of a 1950s bubble-gum pop song.

I’ve gone on enough with this. Yet, I just wanted to note that singing about tweenage love is low for Luda, almost as low as remixing various Christmas songs in the smash hit “Ludacrismas”. Yet, I must be kind. I am, in fact, jealous. Rock on Luda – make your money, fill cups like Double Ds, buy your bling. I wish my dignity was as disposable as yours is.

Oh that’s right, it is. 

Other moments where the audience’s immediate reaction should be, “Is this a joke?” and the answer from actor/performer is, “Why yes, yes it is. I got paid millions to do this…”:

Usher’s lyrics: “Peace up, A-town down!” (referring to good, ol’ HOT-lanta)

Samuel L. Jackson in Snakes On A Plane:  Noted Quote: “get these m-f’n snakes off this m-f’n plane!”

Jackson in The Spirit:

Christopher Walken, pretending to be Japanese, in Balls of Fury:

Moral of the story: if you can’t have fun with your career, why get in the business at all?

Amen.